Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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