it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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