I just saw a hot homeless man
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
