if i can run in heels then i can drive
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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