Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
love makes seman taste better
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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