i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
