my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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