trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
