Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
