Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I believe in your delicious
I smell like Dick and happiness
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