she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
