my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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