It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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