It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I want to have your abortion
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize