If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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