Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
