U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
