maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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