Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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