my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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