He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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