Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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