i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
