All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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