I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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