there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
