Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
