HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
