fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I love having hate sex.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
