big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
