Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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