I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
