i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
