You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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