DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
