i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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