I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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