our cab driver is having phone sex.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
