Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Are we still banned from the library?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
