if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
