You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
