I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I forget how to act sober
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize