We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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