Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
