We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
