he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize