you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
