speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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