We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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