Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
