so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
