super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize