She said her name was "party"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
