Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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