4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
this is an emotional support booty call
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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