I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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