She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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