I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just had sex on a roof
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
