You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
