we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
