I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
they're like a gay fantastic four
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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