is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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