i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
