"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
tequila makes me forget i have legs
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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