I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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