yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
