I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
